Comparing ourselves to others is hard-wired in our human minds.

According to Psychology Today, and in some ways, it can be helpful. Sometimes the inspiration you feel about someone else’s achievements can motivate you to succeed as well.

Every sports star looked up to another star growing up. Wayne Gretzky’s hero was Gordy Howe. Kobe Bryant looked up to Michael Jordan. In some ways, when comparing ourselves, if our accomplishments or abilities surpass those of our peers, this can deliver a boost to our self-esteem.

Although comparing ourselves to others can be positive, more often than not comparisons can be harmful – leaving many feeling chronically inferior or depressed.

This “comparison trap” has been magnified ten-fold in the age of social media. It’s hard not to get down on yourself when everyone else seems to be living a charmed life. Of course, the level-headed among us know that this is all an illusion. That’s why I spend very little time on social media. I know the lines between fact and fiction are blurred and it’s hard to know what is the truth.

Nobody’s life is perfect.

This was never the case before Facebook and it certainly isn’t the case now. It’s just that everyone feels the pressure to broadcast to the world how great their lives are. It’s mostly an illusion.

I remember a few years ago when Rapper Shad Moss (aka Bow Wow) posted a picture of the private jet he was about to board in Atlanta on his fun getaway to New York.

Unfortunately for him, one of his fans who followed him on Instagram was on the same Delta flight Bow Wow was taking that day out of Atlanta. When the fan received an Instagram notification of Bow Wow’s latest adventure in his private jet, the fan couldn’t resist setting the record straight by taking a time-stamped picture of Bow Wow flying coach and posting it to his Instagram account. The fan’s post went viral and Bow Wow was relentlessly mocked for his deception. This is a common problem with social media.

The point is the comparison trap can be extremely damaging as we try to live up to an ideal that doesn’t exist. Everyone on social media is chasing an illusion and making themselves miserable for it.

This Thanksgiving, as I think of the comparison trap, I think our problem is that we’re comparing ourselves to the wrong people. We can turn the comparison trap into a positive. Instead of living up to the fake living standards of the Bow Wows of the world, maybe we should use the comparison trap to remind ourselves how good we have it.

If you compared yourself to suffering Venezuelans instead of Instagram models this Thanksgiving, I bet instead of feeling envious and depressed, you’d feel compassion and gratitude instead.

The once-wealthy, oil-rich country of Venezuela quickly devolved into extreme poverty and social chaos from disastrous socialist policies from dictators like Nicolas Maduro and Hugo Chavez.

Poverty reached crisis levels in Venezuela in 2018 when there were reports of rising numbers of desperate people eating dogs and of prisoners resorting to eating rats because of hyperinflation and the lack of food. Zoos were forced to slaughter animals to feed others.

“Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire” – European Proverb

Escaping poverty, Venezuelans fled their native country by the millions. Venezuela’s refugee crisis is the worst Latin America has ever experienced.

In the past 15 years, more than five million Venezuelans, equivalent to 16 percent of the population, have left their country. By the end of this year, six million Venezuelans will have fled their country. Neighboring Colombia has borne a disproportionate share of the heavy burden of the influx.

Those fleeing Venezuela in hopes of better lives have found life to be no better in Colombian refugee camps where starvation is rampant.

Venezuelans fleeing hunger, disease and a lack of necessities including medicine find themselves living in the same conditions in the refugee camps. That’s because Colombia is wrestling with its financial challenges and international help has been sparse.

The international community has spent less than $1 billion over the past seven years on the Venezuelan refugee crisis. According to a Brookings Institution study, this translates into $125 per Venezuelan refugee. In contrast, the world has dedicated approximately $1,500 to each Syrian refugee.

Don’t flip the comparison trap to make yourself feel better. Use it to help others. Use it for good Remember the other side of the Thanksgiving story – one of Native Americans helping out desolate, starving pilgrims.

This Thanksgiving, don’t just read about Venezuelans or any other group that is suffering so you can feel a greater sense of gratitude for your own lives.

Do what the Native Americans did at Thanksgiving. Share your abundance with others. Donate to the Venezuelan refugee crisis or give to your local communities to help those combating hunger.

Let’s turn our gratitude into a motivation to help others by sharing our abundance with them.